Irredeemable Critiques
Are you properly informed of where you should be eating and when? Do you consistently make poor choices when you choose a restaurant? Hi, the Irredeemable Critic here to correct you on your flawed dietary choices. Well, until you’re inside the establishment. At the point, I’m leaving your choice of diet up to you.
There’s a many tiers of restaurant, but I will only delineate by the wider margins for the purpose of this message. You have your top tier establishments. The type of cuisine doesn’t matter, but this is an established haunt with multiple star ratings on your favorite website of choice with at least 2+ dollar signs in price. This is where you go to impress clients, pay exorbitant costs for bottles of wine and eat tiny portions arranged by the chef. There’s delineations of top tier restaurants, but that isn’t important for this. This exercise is about the proper line to stop scraping when you’re going out to eat. Quality of food starts to decline from there. You have sit down establishments which are great for dates but will not likely have any Michelin stars, or Mom & Pop shops that have that secret sauce you keep going back for. If the food is well made and the establishment is clean, you’re doing great. Following that, we have non-fast food chains. Those are usually acceptable lunch choices, although you should try and diversify your eating interests. This can include the “build your own” fast food establishments like Chipotle, if the given establishment is lacking E.coli. As long as you don’t go to these every day and eat at them in moderation, you should be fine. At a similar level of quality are the food trucks, if not better most of the time. You’re advised to avoid the generic halal trucks that have menus larger than the capacity of their kitchen. Unless those trucks are larger on the inside—and I sincerely doubt that—they’re physically unable to have enough ingredients to have breakfast, lunch and dinner of various different cuisines. The other food trucks are usually specialty trucks or offshoots of established businesses, able to meet the dietary wants of even the most discerning eaters. Finally, you have the lesser Mom & Pop shops. They’re good, they’re just not that good, but it’s still better to eat here than the following locations. Now you have the fast food shops that should be avoided at all costs. Why would you go a Burger King when you could go to a chain with food that is actually edible? The only purpose for going to a Burger King and other comparable fast food chains is to avoid eating at a gas station and the like on a road trip and getting parasites. These chains may be cheaper, but are you eating to survive or eating for pleasure? If you’re eating to survive, you might as well cook a meal that’s tastier and cheaper still than what is in Burger King. If you’re eating for pleasure, you could go to somewhere where the food is made with legitimate ingredients. The last tier of eating is highway gas stations. Don’t eat there. If you’re going to eat there, get prepackaged food as though you’re in a convenience store. You don’t deserve to die due to a lack of food options and you deserve to eat food cooked by people who understand how to work an oven. You can consider yourself properly informed of where to eat. Any poor decisions you make from now on cannot be excused by ignorance and should earn you the mockery of your friends and companions.
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This page is dedicated to my various critiques of the world.
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